A psychological study shows that your favorite songs reveal your attachment style (playlist included)

Does repeating a particular artist tell us how to deal with our romantic lives, friendships, and family relationships? Whether it's Adele or Wickon on your playlist, the lyrics can tell a lot about you, which has to do with attachment style and what people usually think, feel, and behave in love
.

"I'm interested in the role music plays in
people's lives.
Since humans started making music tens of thousands of years ago, songs from different cultures have always focused on relationships — entering into a relationship, staying in a relationship, or breaking up — so I wondered, will people listen to music that reflects their love experiences?" said Ravin Alaei, who received his Ph.
D.
from the Department of Psychology in the College of Arts and Sciences in 2019
.

In a new study published in the journal Human Relations, Alaei and psychology professors Geoff Macdonald and Nicholas Rule found that people's personal attachment styles matched
the lyrics of their favorite songs.
In other words, we tend to go back to tunes that tell about what we've been through in a relationship, for better or worse
.

"Lyrics are important, so pay attention to them," said
Alai, who earned his MD from McMaster University.
"The lyrics of your favorite songs about relationships may help confirm your thoughts and feelings, but they may also reveal things you may not have realized in your relationship experience — things that you have repeatedly experienced and constantly encountered
.
"

First, review attachment styles, which can be broadly divided into four categories, Alaei said
.
People with anxious attachment worry about rejection and seek a lot of comfort
in their relationships.
On the other hand, people with avoidant attachment respond to their negative expectations of relationships by closing off emotions and intimacy in order to support independence
.
People with mixed attachment styles have chaotic expectations that fluctuate
between clingy and apathetic.
Finally, secure people have an optimistic view of relationships, are open communicators, and trust their partners
.

"We asked 570 people to tell us their favorite songs, and then encoded
nearly 7,000 songs based on the attachment style expressed by the lyrics.
In turn, we found that people with avoidant attachment prefer music with avoidant lyrics," Alaei said
.
"I would have thought there would be a clear relationship between people with anxious attachment and anxiety songs because they were the most emotional, but surprisingly, this was the weakest result
.
"

This strong avoidance connection is reflected not only at the individual level, but also at the societal level
.
In the second study, researchers encoded attachment themes for 800 Billboard hits from 1946 to 2015 and found that lyrics became more avoidant and less safe
over time.

"There is a parallel social trend that pop music lyrics are socially disconnected — people value independence over dependence on others and feel more isolated," Alaei said
.

If the music we listen to reflects our relationships, does that help or hinder our relationship skills? Alaei says this is the next step
in the study.

Taking Adele's recordings as an example, Alai said that the song, which turned the scales to the theme of anxiety, was popular
among participants.
"People Like You" appeared on many playlists, with the chorus as: "I hate coming uninvited / But I can't stay away, I can't resist / I had wished you could see my face and remind you / For me, it's not over
.
"

If someone is an anxious dependent person, will repeatedly listening to "People Like You" do more harm than good? According to Alai, it all starts with self-awareness
of one's attachment type.

"As an anxious person, you should realize that you are vulnerable to negative feedback loops, and your emotions will snowball," Alaei said
.
"Music is a very powerful aggravator because it stimulates deep emotions and memories that ultimately exacerbate your worries
.
"

Compared to those who listened to The Weeknd's No Heart, No Lungs, Adele's fans may have very different love experiences
.
Lyrics such as "Try to be a better man, but I'm ruthless/Never be ruthless wedding planners/Low life life because I'm ruthless," are classic examples of avoidant songs, Alaei said
.

His advice: "Listening to the song a few more times will help you deal with what you're going through and express your thoughts and feelings
.
" You can decide whether listening to songs that reflect your experience is helping you or reinforcing your destructive behavior
.
At some point, you may find it more productive
to listen to music that brings a sense of security.
”

A nostalgic song popular among the participants was "I Got You Babe" by Sonny and Cher: "Put your little hands in my hands / We can't climb without mountains or mountains
.
"

"It's almost a manual
on how to connect securely," Alaei said.

Does your favorite song about feelings reveal about your attachment style? Here are some tunes selected by the study participants for their playlists:

Escape songs:

• Beyoncé, Irreplaceable

• Chris Brown, Say Goodbye 

• N'Sync, Bye Bye Bye

• Michael Jackson, Billie Jean

• TLC, Scrubs

• Rihanna, Take a Bow

• The Weeknd, The Hills; Heartless

Nervous songs:

• Adele, Someone Like You

• The Police, Every Breath You Take

• Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball

• Adele, Hello

• U2, One

• Seether, Broken

• No Doubt, Don't Speak

• Bruno Mars, When I Was Your Man

• Drake, Hotline Bling

Safe songs:

• Sonny & Cher, I Got You Babe

• Whitney Houston, I Will Always Love You

• The Beatles, Love Me Do

• Ed Sheeran, Thinking Out Loud

• Plain White Ts, I Love You 

• John Legend, All of Me

• Michael Bublé, Haven't Met You Yet

• Beach Boys, Wouldn't It Be Nice

• Bryan Adams, (Everything I Do) I Do It for You

• Etta James, At Last

• Justin Bieber, Holy

Anxious Avoidance (Remix) Songs:

• Carrie Underwood, Before He Cheats

• Gotye, Somebody that I Used to Know

• Taylor Swift, Bad Blood

• Sam Smith, I'm Not the Only One

• Ne Yo, So Sick

• Bonnie Raitt, I Can't Make You Love Me

• Adele, Rolling in the Deep

• Rihanna ft.
  Drake, Work

• Eminem ft.
  Rihanna, Love the Way You Lie